Tuesday, March 4, 2008
What a Tangled Web We Weave . . .
I just don't get it. I mean, didn't we learn this as kids? Didn't we teach it to our own children? I'm not talking about little white lies ("No, that doesn't make your butt look too big.") or convenient ommissions ("Um, no, I hadn't heard that."). I'm talking lies. Mendacity. (Do you still swoon when Brick yells at Big Daddy about mendacity?)
Do people really think they're not going to get caught? Apparently so, but, not to be crass or anything, how flipping stupid are they? Or, perhaps, how stupid do they think the rest of us are?
Here's a newsflash to all the job applicants, memoirists, coaches, plagiarists, resume padders out there--you're going to get caught. In this whole world-wide-web life we live in, somebody's going to hear your lie and think, uh, whoa, I think not. Your sister, your ex-whomever, that guy you were rude to, the original writer. Somebody is going to take a second look at that resume and call one of your references. Somebody is going to see that article about the amazing, stunning book you wrote about your wretched/difficult/gang-filled life and say, um, yeah, I knew him/her and it's not true. And they're going to be able to prove it. See, there's this new-fangled thing out there. It's called the internet. Google. YouTube. Myspace. Colleges have websites. So do newspapers. And corporations. The military.
You're going to get caught. Bank on it.
And think back to that time you were five and your mom or grandpa or neighbor lady caught you in a lie. Didn't you feel lousy? But you were little and cute. You're not little and cute anymore. You're an adult. You're supposed to know better.